Working

GET A JOB!

Interviews

I am trying to get back into the work force. I have an interview with what seems like a good company on Monday. I am super nervous. It is a hard thing to have mental health issues and get back into working... Disability doesn't seem to want me, so I have to figure something else out... I am a very motivated and dedicated worker, but I also have a past that doesn't seem to want to let me breathe! It's just so hard. It's a hard decision- if I start working again, I will lose my medical benefits, and I am on a lot of medication. I get scared because I don't know what I would do without my medications. I was told that there is a way to get medical benefits while I work, so I will have to check that out. Is anyone else out there going through this, or has anyone gone through this??? I just wonder how other people deal with this kind of situation. It seems like you get punished for trying to get back on yr feet! Why is that? Maybe this Universal Health Care thing wouldn't be so bad... I want to work so bad. I want to contribute to society. I miss working. I am hoping and praying that this interview goes well. Holla if you hear me! Ha!

Art

"Art is why I wake up in the morning, but my definition ends there. It doesn't seem fair that I'm living for something I can't even define, and there you are right there in the meantime..." (Ani DiFranco)

It is hard to be an artist. I love art and creating it, but it is hard to live an artists' life. My boyfriend aspires to be a cartoonist. He is AMAZING at it. He gets jobs to do on the side, but it is not his full time job. I have had a few projects myself, but it is not my full time job, either. I would love to simply sell my work and live off of that. I don't think that will ever happen. Why was I chosen to do this???

Anxiety

Anxiety 

Beat Anxiety

Let Anxiety Be A Blessing

Today is a very anxious day for me. Anxiety can rule my life at times. I am at a very stressful point in my life, and it is trying to bring me down. Yes, I have medication for anxiety, but mostly it just messes me up and creates more drama. I have to remember that I am the one controlling the show. I say that anxiety can be a blessing because it forces me to take things on and deal with things in an immediate way. I know that there are a lot of people out there who also deal with this, and so I am hoping that my process can help or enlighten someone else. Today, I am defeating my anxiety by talking and creating art. My sister, Aimee, called me this morning, and it really helped to start my day on a good note. I decided not to let this anxiety overwhelm me today. I just have to take things one step at a time, one problem at a time. And then I clear my mind by drawing and creating beautiful things. I am not giving into the medication. I took my neurontin as prescribed, and I think that is helping me enough, The other medication I am prescribed is very powerful and usually makes me black out. I hate to talk about this, but it is necessary for me to talk about things that make me uncomfortable. I have to believe that I am strong enough to get through this myself. I would love to hear other people's thoughts on this subject...